shiznitts...

sometimes my mum yells at me for no reason. even if i were to go out for a while. maybe 2 or 3 hours.. if she calls the house and no1 answers.. she will sms me in a very mood spoiler way, asking y din i tell her i was going out.. ok.. maybe i should.. but not all the time.. c'mon face it.. im already 17! wheres my freedom i deserve? why mus i keep reporting to ya like im some pri or sec sch kiddo?
sometimes, she gets this little pms sprees and unleashes her shznitts on the family.
she would barge into my room and ask me example, why is the lights on the other rm on, no1 inside and the air con is on and the door not shut.U PAY NEXT MONTHS PUB bill! of cos, i should feel very angry or unjust bcos i am wrongly accused. it was my sis who did everything wrong and she sits in another room quietly doing her own thing for my mum doesnt want to scold her. i treat it as favourtism,..,

my dear friends.. this may seem a common problem in ur life also. the thing for me is that, though it still happens. things dont seem tog et any worse and the situation jus cools down by itself after a few hours...i call it divine intervention.. the beautiful thing called time which heals any wound. of cos, this is a family issue, and the thing that contributes to this "quicker healing" then friendship problems is the unconditional love your MUM has for u.

so in return, i jus absorbed, learnt from it, changed how things are around. if my mum can love me so much.. there are theses lil things which i can do to make things around better for everyone. i would rather be screamed at for things i did not do rather than someone else. MAYBE, taking a break from the computer and walking around the house once every 1 or 2 hours would show my mum that i actually care about the houshold too! maybe its bcos my mum is stressed at work that shes acting so shizznitty and i could ease the burden of taking care of the family.

nowadays i can even joke with her on my relationship issues, or rather shes the one poking fun at me. all these things come with time. and also, its bcos once u start to treasure what u ahve, u wouldnt let it go. it wont even get into your "maybe it will help if i do this" LIST.

a cold family is one where its members live thier own lives. even if its someone elder, U can make the first move to making it a warmer place! maybe a simple "mum i very tired today siah... this stupid maths sum cracks my head... how about ur day?"

CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE. i wouldnt give up on my family. for i wouldnt know when the day will come when god takes them away from me.


jus moments ago, i felt a sickenning jolt through me. one of whom i regard as my close ones is actually going through a crisis at home . and yet, i am OBLIVIOUS to it. it could be that im not caring or uderstanding enough to find out or to elt others find comfort in talking to me. i WILL definetely change this! i do not wish to lose anyone without doing anything for them. even if its the hardest step i ahve to take.

just my $0.02.
truly yours
joshiE